Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Learning to Walk Tall

I am learning to go with the flow.  At a time when I was searching for my next step my sister shared her experience with the Activator Poles - walking poles for seniors (or other "unstable" people!).  I decided that this wisdom was so timely and so affordable I could not pass it by.  My fingers did the walking, I hit enter, and, my poles were on their way.  They arrived last week and I was set.  Took them for a spin on Saturday and lasted about a block.  To be fair it was all uphill and I have not been doing much walking over the past few months but still - a block! 

I set them gently by the door and there they sit, taunting me, whispering "take me out, please" every time I venture out to sit on our sunny new deck.  I will certainly make that date soon - after I finish my errands tonight and clean the bathrooms tomorrow night and shop on Wednesday night - looks like we have a date for Thursday after work.  I am really not procrastinating - I am choosing to be kind to myself, giving myself that space I usually need to absorb a new direction, breath, experiment and then, jump in with both feet (and poles!).  Being kind is accepting that it is not necessary to be perfect but OK to just keep inching forward.  Never giving up on your journey is the key to change; arriving at the destination is not the goal - change is the goal!  And that, dear friends, will happen with ease, without force, no struggle, in its own good time.  This is not an olympic race with a winner at the end; it is a life journey with a prize for every step toward health. 

Just in case you are raising your eyebrows and wondering "who is she talking to" that sermon was for my inner self - you know - that fearful someone who would rather hide in a box then march down the street and take the chance she might stumble,  This might be a "Pink Hat Day" today - a good laugh could spur me out the door with a smile on my face as I do my body a favour and move it. 

So, the next adventure may be a story of the black and blue garbage cans that line our lane or the brown and white rabbit that is frustrated by our new fence - maybe a photojournal of my urban adventure through the backlanes of suburbia. 

Sunday, 29 April 2012

120 Days - Life Loves....








Well, I just did the calculation - 120 days into my quest to a healthier me.  I have faced challenges but not given up on the journey.  My knee has now been diagnosed as a torn meniscus - possibly it will repair itself; maybe it won't - either way I continue on.  The doctor has warned me not to take on any demanding athletic endeavours - jumping, running, jogging - that got an internal giggle out of me.  Really!  Looks like well chosen exercise to strengthen my quad's and a positive attitude is what is required.  Weight loss would also be in order - although this 300 plus pound doctor did not suggest that!

Saturday, 14 April 2012

The Sun Will Come Up ......

As I listened - and, yes, I confess, sang along to - the familiar song from Annie this morning, I felt a smile building inside me and coming to the surface.  I had been revisiting my journals this morning also and that had set me on a path of counting my many blessings over the past three years.  It has been a long journey of self-discovery - a conscious decision to live authentically no matter what!  I have jumped into situations openly and lived life to the fullest while still giving myself permission to retreat into my still, small place when a respite was necessary.  I have made bad judgment calls, geat decisions and broken some debillitating patterns - all at the same time.  I have decided that that is life - the good, the bad and the ugly!  It has been such a wonderful, challenging and enlightening time.  I have dropped tons of heavy, ugly baggage.  I walk with a lighter step (although the PHYSICAL me is not much lighter!) because I am not carrying such a difficult load - I have started to figure out what belongs on my shoulders and what others need to carry themselves.  The very best realization is that being honest with myself about what I believe and what I don't believe has set me free from the bondage I placed myself in trying to be whatever everyone thought I should be!