Am I Willing?

The story continues; a sequel in draft form always evolving. Will she make it? What will happen? Oh, oh, there she goes again? Thump! Can we just rip the pages out of our life that we don`t like and put them through a shredder? Is there a re-write button that we can push to change the beginning or the middle - those rocky parts where the heroine trips and falls and, then, just sits?

I have read this blog from beginning to now and I have decided that the place to start is the ending, not a new beginning. Knowing where it started is important, but agonizing over the details is fruitless. The story is a continuum of breaths. Each inhalation and subsequent exhalation are called life. One without the other is death. There is a continuing, a growing, a reaching that does change the plot, the twists, the curves, the drama, the pain but the element of a satisfying life story is determined by choosing the ending and sticking to it. The telling is the how.

I set out on this blog to write a new ending for my life. An ending that would see me living my authentic self,  as healthy as genetically possible, enjoying my family, seeking new adventures and someday, rocking by a warm fire, content with the ending of a life well lived. Being authentic has a great deal to do with the final contentment. The question remains: what I am willing to suffer to make that happen?

Stay tuned!

Another Day 1

Back to Square 1, starting over, first step - AGAIN!  Never quit!  As per my July post (whoops, that was Day 1 too), I know what needs to happen to get me from the couch to the playground again.  I cannot say it enough times really - no matter what excuse I use - no time, no support, no discipline - they all add up to no change.  I used to think that once retirement set in I would have the time, be less stressed, more motivated to get back in the game.  If you think that way too, STOP.  It is only your head playing with you.  Time is not the problem; time is not my problem - I am retired!

So - the game plan this year (and next and the next) is to re-focus gently, lovingly, with forgiveness and patience and really look at the change that is right for me right now.  Good health has always been the goal and I can look back at my former self and see that I have come a long way even with the set backs.  Each set back has carried with it another piece of learning.  This time it is two fold:  1. be patient with "me" and 2. continue on living authentically.  Simple.

Dr. Henry Cloud recently posted a commentary on feelings - or, more specifically what it takes to NOT feel!  It reminded me about what my Head knowledge has always told me - that stuffing the uncomfortable means stuffing the best too - joy, excitement, anticipation, love.  For me, that means that when I am so full of feelings I could burst I need a lot of food to keep them all down there!  Taking the lid off the vent is a little dangerous when done alone - I might explode and damage something important! That's where all of you come in!  I mean YOU - good friends (really good friends!) by reading my blog, nodding your virtual heads together, tapping your toes to the "Authenticity Chorus;" and, dancing down that crazy path called life.  The journey to health just isn't meant to be solo!

Good living is a many pronged journey - isolation is self-defeating.  I say Go Team!