Square 2

So Square 2 follows Square 1 - months later of course.  If one thing has not changed within me that is my tendency to procrastinate along with a little writer's block from time to time.  If you have been following me in my retirement blog, Boomers Pot of Gold,  you will already know that the creative juices have been flowing all winter - but through water colours and not my pen or laptop.  I have been writing but focusing on stories and "other things" not blogs. But enough of the excuses.

Today's inspiration comes from a recent essay that has been circulating online titled "Should you live for your resume or your eulogy?"  It is  also the topic of David Brooks Ted Talk  if you are interested!

My children have always been an inspiration to me over the years.  I have learned so much from them just through observation.  This concept about using your weaknesses to build your strengths is lived out in real life as a parent.  Recognizing even in my cute little toddler with the golden locks and big blue eyes that her stubbornness and the recurrent stamping of feet that accompanied it could be coached and trained into a tenacity that would stand her in good stead as she faced the many adult challenges down the road kept me optimistic and hopeful.  This child of mine also faced down a physical limitation that she chose to believe had no limits.  Her battle was one that inspired adults and children blessed enough to know her.  I am still thrilled to see that goodness that shines (not just from that childhood battle!) - she lights up my life with it!

I am sure you have met one or two of those special people in your journey as well - the ones who shine with their goodness without really seemingly trying.  Don't be fooled!  It is because of their battle that the light is so bright.  When we do face our weakness - our signature sin as referenced by David Brooks or a physical weakness that threatens to destroy us - we can wrestle with it, suffer from it, and by so doing, develop the depth of character that would be eulogy-worthy.

In his essay The Moral Bucket List, Mr. Brooks compares this journey to having "moral adventures" that will lead you closer to becoming that kind of person that has a goodness about them that is not based on success or any other outward achievement but founded instead by steadfastly making that humility shift from star to humble human while confronting daily those weaknesses that are ingrained in each of us.  None of this can be done in isolation.  No, not even you can defeat those signature sins that are at the core of your being all alone.  The strongest among us (often especially them!) need "redemptive assistance from others."

I especially relate to Mr. Brooks comments about the Conscience Leap - stepping outside of the norm for your life, your peers, your belief system - to embrace what seems right, true and authentic for you. This will require moving beyond the safe, straight & narrow dictated by your fears or self-imposed barriers and choosing what is right for you- not what should be or could be but "IS". This concept lines up with my initial statement when I started writing this blog regarding authenticity - it is ingrained in my journey.

But, today I must accept that humility is the building stone that can move me closer to that goodness I see shine in so many others that touch my life.  I see that connecting and not going it alone are as important as being real.  I need a "moral adventure!"  Want to journey with me?

Another Day 1

Back to Square 1, starting over, first step - AGAIN!  Never quit!  As per my July post (whoops, that was Day 1 too), I know what needs to happen to get me from the couch to the playground again.  I cannot say it enough times really - no matter what excuse I use - no time, no support, no discipline - they all add up to no change.  I used to think that once retirement set in I would have the time, be less stressed, more motivated to get back in the game.  If you think that way too, STOP.  It is only your head playing with you.  Time is not the problem; time is not my problem - I am retired!

So - the game plan this year (and next and the next) is to re-focus gently, lovingly, with forgiveness and patience and really look at the change that is right for me right now.  Good health has always been the goal and I can look back at my former self and see that I have come a long way even with the set backs.  Each set back has carried with it another piece of learning.  This time it is two fold:  1. be patient with "me" and 2. continue on living authentically.  Simple.

Dr. Henry Cloud recently posted a commentary on feelings - or, more specifically what it takes to NOT feel!  It reminded me about what my Head knowledge has always told me - that stuffing the uncomfortable means stuffing the best too - joy, excitement, anticipation, love.  For me, that means that when I am so full of feelings I could burst I need a lot of food to keep them all down there!  Taking the lid off the vent is a little dangerous when done alone - I might explode and damage something important! That's where all of you come in!  I mean YOU - good friends (really good friends!) by reading my blog, nodding your virtual heads together, tapping your toes to the "Authenticity Chorus;" and, dancing down that crazy path called life.  The journey to health just isn't meant to be solo!

Good living is a many pronged journey - isolation is self-defeating.  I say Go Team!

Knowledge, Wisdom and a Cloud of Dust

I have shared that I have hit a snag on my road to a healthier life - too many hikes to the candy machine as my career wound down and retirement and a major move engulfed me - major meaning the extra 25 pounds I found this last year wandering in the rich land of Aero Bars and Skittles which I now have to "move" every time I stand up!  I have actually learned much about myself over the past three years and would very much enjoy some wonderful, wise adage that says "Knowing is Being" or "Knowledge is Wisdom".  Alas, that is not the case.

Knowledge - lots of knowledge - about health and well being does not magically make you/me a healthy, wise person.  In fact, all of this knowledge garnered over the years can and does mess us/me up - Yes, you heard it! "She has drowned in her own "self help" pond!"  Well here's an adage that does speak truth - "Been there; done that and got the t-shirt to prove it!".  Unfortunately, the t-shirt doesn't fit anymore!

I once heard it explained this way - that once I knew all of this "healthier life style" stuff, and then fell off the "healthier life train" it would be much harder to get back on and keep chugging along.  I smirked when I first heard that as I believed knowledge and wisdom did go hand in hand and I certainly wasn't going to be that "unwise" to mess it up - again!  However, I now get it - I know a lot of the excuses I use to justify my unhealthy eating choices or my multiple reasons for not walking or biking or "fill in the blank".  I know a lot about all of the solutions too - like the self help jargon that goes along with each diet trend; the motivational posters; the "sisterhood of the bulge" hurrahs: "What touches your lips stays on your hips"; "Move it or lose it"; "Motion is lotion"; and, my favorite - "No pain; No gain!"   Can we all say JADED?!  Well, I have become a little jaded.  I have procrastinated, binged, vegetated and gained.  Today, I woke up and thought: "What are you doing, girl?  All those months, days, hours you walked and managed to eat reasonable amounts of food - you lost the pounds and gained so much well being you were, like, flying to embrace the great pot of average BMI in the sky!"

Enough - time to land back in the real world.  Retirement has arrived!  I no longer can say "when I have time".  I am back to Square #1 - Never Quit!  I now remember my own banter - health and well being are not destinations - they are the journey!  You never arrive - you just enjoy the ride - or walk or run!  More greens, more movement, more laughing, more spiritual growing, more, more, more - giggle and grin; cry and sing; move and revel in the wind on your face or the extra spring in your step today; seek the silence in between the life moments - there, in that silent place you will catch a glimpse of the wisdom you have been seeking - joy in the moment.  It is not all in the words and certainly not all in the food!  It is in how you care for yourself and the world around you - with love and respect and faith that, when all is said and done, and the journey is ended, you will finally be able to rejoice in a life well lived to the very end.


So tomorrow I am going to share lunch with my family (a healthy lunch!), play with my friends, build a sand castle, float on an inner tube, ride my bike and screech to a stop in a cloud of dust.  I am going to hug someone I love and be kind to a stranger.  I am going to be thankful for each smile and embrace each tear for what it is - proof that I can feel deeply and still live to see another day - ah, wisdom, there you are!  I hope you will come out to play tomorrow too!